Will I ever be settled?

Sometimes, I feel like my life is in a constant state of "waiting".

I feel like I am not really living. Is this normal? I can't believe that it is. Everything seems temporary, like we are on the verge of crossing the next hurdle all the time. Once that hurdle is crossed, another comes that seems even harder to get over.

My needs are simple. I want to clear my debt and have some sort of life. I work and work and work and the debt never seems to decrease. The current state of the economy isn't helping.

Now, its not like I am sitting around broke all the time, I just assumed by my age, I'd be in a better place.

Aren't the men supposed to suffer financial hardship after divorce? In my case, I feel as though I am the one picking up all of the pieces. The ex found himself a gal with $$ so he has no issues. HE is living. HE is traveling. HE is able to give the kids the things.

I am struggling constantly. I always feel like the bad guy with the kids because I can't "do" for them like dad does.

I know everyone struggles. I didn't mind it so much when I was younger. I just didn't expect to STILL be strapped.

I realize I was a fool and didn't have a very good divorce lawyer since I was stuck with much of the debt. Plus, that "nice" part of me came out and I really didn't want to rake the ex over the coals.

Mr. Misery has two kids of his own to pay support to so he is working 60 - 70 hours a week to support them and to get us ahead. It just seems like it never ends.

So, here comes summer again. We can't even plan a vacation as it will just undo all that we have accomplished. In the meantime, everyone around us seems to be traveling here and there and having a life.

Maybe I am just having a "pity party" for myself today??

It should be better tomorrow, right??