Are the courts responsible?

The demise of the American Family.

Shattered in a zillion ways for a zillion different reasons. Selfishness? Greed? Boredom? It doesn't matter.

The effect of the dismantling of the American Family trickles down and lands squarely on our children.

Its easy to divorce. Much easier than getting married.

A divorce is a series of forms, a distribution of equity, and division of the children who are, in my opinion, treated like another piece of property to be divided into whatever fractions the courts deem "fair" and for "the best interest of the child".

Sadly, what I am seeing, is a very unfair division.

Children are left fatherless. Yes, fathers are basically "freed up" from the responsiblitiy of raising their children since in MOST cases, the courts deem the mother the primary care giver or "Custodial Parent", but the father's wallets are hit hard. I guess if you are a man with lots of money and no interest in your children, this is the optimal course of action. My ex-husband is a prime example of this. He pays his support, his visits follow the "court schedule", and even though I have given him unlimited access to his children, he rarely deviates from the scheduled visitation on the custody agreement.

But, unfortunatley, day after day, I see too many fathers who miss their kids, want to be involved, want more time with them but are kicked to the curb like an old paper cup. Their wallets are the only thing of any value. The women in these cases have the ability, at a whim, to demand MORE money, and get it. They can cut out visitation with merely a slap on the wrist by the courts for violation the terms of whatever agreement is in place. Therefore, they deny their children access to a caring, loving father for their own selfish gain, control seems to be their main issue.

What the courts fail to realize is that MOST women, in this day and age, are out there working as much as the fathers and have no more time to care for their children.

So, in these times, like in all times, it takes TWO parents to properly raise children. Its a horrible injustice to our children to give full custody to women who work as many hours as men. And what does it say for us women??? Think about it. The courts don't even feel our jobs are as "important" or as well paying, we are being treated as less by adding more responsibilty and thinking a few bucks will compensate. We know we are stressed, over-worked, concerned about our children, and cannot provide what a "normal" father can (I know there are cases where women keep their kids from the fathers because of abuse, neglect, etc.....), but I am talking about fathers who do not have those issues. I admit it. If I didn't have a caring loving husband, I would be at a loss on a lot of issues with my children. I am thankful everyday that he has stepped up to the plate and picked up the slack that my own children's father couldn't be bothered to do. Maybe the court system feels a few bucks is a fair trade to compensate us women and free up our men to re-produce more offspring that may wind up in the court system and offer more revenue to the state through child support, but ultimately, what happens to these fatherless children? And who REALLY benefits?