So, a blended family breaks up. How does this effect the kids?
I'm worried. This is the second father figure to walk out of my children's lives.
My daughter is 18, in college and beautiful. Her boyfriend attends the same school. I see her becoming me. She can't do enough for him, but he is never happy.
Today she called me in tears.....he needs his "space".......almost the same thing as Mr. Misery.
If anyone can weigh in on this, I'd appreciate it! It seems that we Misery women attract the same kind on men over and over. Are we too nice? Not demanding enough? Just doormats?
I really need some expertise in this area. Its one thing for me to go through it, but to see my young, smart, beautiful daughter go through it is entirely different.
I need to know how to break this cycle.
Okay, so I went off on a tangent about my daughter.......
My son misses Mr. Misery, my daughter does too. I don't know if his kids miss me.....it seems lately they were never here, the ex always had something else planned.
I just feel so horrible for not being able to make this work for my kids.
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2 comments:
It's early days yet.
Like many girls with absent fathers, your daughter probably blames herself for that situation, buried deep in her unconscious.
She needs to quit doing for the boyfriend. No matter how much it hurts, she needs to say, "Fine. So do I. See ya!"
Then, she needs to realize that men WILL come and go from her life, and her happiness is up to her. she needs to visualize a life for herself, thinking as if she is going to be alone all her life, supporting herself, making herself happy. What kind of home will she want? What kind of career? What hobbies? What does she want to do for fun?
When she has done that, and begins to work towards that goal, any relationship will be gravy. she will be confident enough to take 'em or leave 'em on her own terms, because she has her life and can be content within herself.
It's an exercise for anyone who is coming off a relationship.
One of the biggest plusses to this is that the confident and contented single woman attracts a much better class of men than the one who will do everything for a man.
Check it out for yourself!
My son went through a phase of blaming me because his dad and I didn't stay together.
I just had to tell him that nobody is perfect, and some people are just better off not living together. Your kids have lived with you and Mr Misery well into their teens, and I'm sure have known about tensions and arguments. Jimmy and I split when Brendan was very small, to avoid his having to live with that. However, the plus side to having the kids know about the stress is that they have some idea that the family might do better under separate roofs.
Don't underestimate your kids.
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