What happened?

My son plays in the Jazz Band at his middle school.

Wednesday night was his concert. Of course I went. He father also showed, without his girlfriend and Mr. Misery was not available either.

It was just the two of us.

We are, for the most part, friends. He pizzes me off a lot as you see from my posts, but honestly, we do okay.

We sat together at the concert watching our beautiful wonderful talented son, both of us so obviously proud.

I started to cry.

What happened?

I wasn't crying over my ex, I was crying over all the hopes and dreams we had, all the fun we had, all the firsts we had, the wonderful children we have and what really tore me up was how happy our son was to see, just us, at his concert. He didn't have to feel pulled in any direction.

I just wonder if its normal to feel sad like that. Mr. Misery says that he feels it a lot too. All of your expectations are destroyed and life is nothing like what you envisioned. That makes sense. I never expected to be divorced, nor did Mr. Misery.

I thank my lucky stars that he came into my life. My children love him and he and my ex get along fine. It makes life easier on the kids thats for sure, but what about us? We are so worried about the children all the time that I wonder if we neglect ourselves and all of our feelings so much that it all comes crashing down in one big emotional storm like it did for me Wednesday night.